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The options for what women could do in their lives in the late 18th century were extraordinarily limited. When they married, they essentially lost control of their (own) money and were subject to the whims of their husbands. But there were women who seemed to know how to deal with the system and, in fact, to thrive in it. One of those women was Elizabeth Lamb, featured in a biography called, "Lady M", by Colin Brown. Lady M is Lady Melbourne (1751-1818) the wife of Peniston Lamb, Lord Melbourne, a wealthy (minor) aristocrat who landed in the lap of large sums of money earned by his grandfather and father. (He comes across as an absolute twit.) Lady Melbourne came from minor gentry from North Riding in Yorkshire and her maiden name was Elizabeth Milbanke. Her rise to becoming a major Georgian hostess and a (major) titled aristocrat in London almost touches, as far as I can tell, on every biography I have read about the women of that era to date. Already, I realize I need to re-read the excellent biography, "Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire", as these two women were mainstays on the scene of London from 1770-1815. (Diana died in 1806.)
Elizabeth Milbanke was, without doubt, pragmatic, realistic and calculated in assessing the more important decisions in her life. She clearly knew that she wanted to be a hostess with political power. She also knew that she had to make the right decisions for herself and ergo, her first decision at the age of 17, was to marry a man who, although a little thick, was very rich. She quickly became pregnant and had an heir to carry on the Lamb name and then, as far as she was concerned, all bets were off due to the fact that her husband fell head over heals in love with a singer/actress, Sophia Baddeley. Lady M, or Betsy as her husband called her, took on one lover after another and it didn't hurt that they were powerful and rich. She had five more children, none of whom can be attributed to her husband. Of all the women I have read about, Betsy is the most clear eyed about who she is and she uses that understanding to get precisely what she wants--power in the real world of politics. She contrasted significantly with her friend and co-conspirator in that world, Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire, who was impulsive and undisciplined.
It is, however, the Melbournes (both of them) decision to go whole hog into the influence business, known as having a salon, by their decision to buy a house on Sackville St. owned by an old family friend, Lord Holland, Henry Fox. (Fox was married to one of the Lennox sisters and was father to Charles Fox, a Whig politician who allied himself with Prince George, the heir apparent.) Holland was going to have Robert Adam re-design the interior, but due to ill health chose to sell to Lamb who hired William Chambers (two major figures of neo-classicism in England) to re-design the house which, of course, ran hugely over budget. One way in which he ran over budget was to hire Thomas Chippendale to design furniture for the house. Chippendale was given the commission to, among other items in the house, design and make a sideboard, now known as the Renishaw commode, which qualifies as the single most costly piece of furniture Chippendale made for any client--a singularity of extravagance. (see it here.) The Melbournes had arrived and they weren't sparing the horses on decking out their home. And Chippendale rose to the occasion as the very famous Panshangar Cabinets (shown in previous link) were also made for Melbourne House. Lady M. knew the best when she saw it.
But, as anyone with children knows and as all adult children learn, there is inevitable broadening of the family through marriage, in-laws, lovers and even friends that somehow can upend the apple cart no matter how rationally one believes they might be behaving. What was once a checkerboard becomes three dimensional chess and attempting to direct the large cast of relations and their relationships was clearly not possible. For example, her son, William, married Caroline Lamb, famous for throwing herself at Lord Byron in a flagrant manner that defied social convention. Lady M's daughter, Emily, married Earl Cowper, also a disastrous marriage, but worse still, Lady M enamored the much younger Lord Byron and steered him to pursuing her niece, Annabella, to enable yet another disastrous marriage. Clearly, Lady M was reaching too far as she aged and incurring enemies of old friends and relations in the process. Still, her steadfast purpose of reaching the top rank of English aristocracy was achieved as the Melbourne title, towards the end of her life, was converted from an Irish to an English hereditary peerage. She was, without doubt, a force in a world where feminine power was hard to attain and even harder to sustain. I rather like her.
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